Life ebbs and flows.  It brings all the sweetest moments and peppers in some of the most trying challenges.  Through it all, we somehow each find our way.  Over the years, I’ve looked to my mentors to guide me through with advice on how they handle specific situations.  With that in mind, back in 2009 I started a “Work/life Leader Series” of posts that would give various leaders a place to share their ideas and experiences on the age-old issue of work/life balance.

While I haven’t heard much about work/life balance in the last year, it seems that lately it’s resurfacing.  Often, I get asked by new readers to share my thoughts on the topic.  With that in mind, I decided to take all the posts from the Work/life Leader Series and share them here.  As you’ll see, regardless if you’re male or female, the consensus is that there is no such thing as “balance” when it comes to juggling home responsibilities with work.  Enjoy!

Work/life Leader Series

Work/life Integration- Eric Winegardner, VP of Client Adoption at Monster Worldwide

Work/life Unity-  Trish McFarlane

Work, Life and Life/work-  Bill Boorman, Founder of TRUevents, Recruiter, Trainer

Work/life Blend-  Leanne Chase, founder of Career Life Connection

Work/life: 10 Tips to Implement Flexibility Programs-  Beth Carvin, CEO & President, Nobscot Corporation

There’s No Such Thing As Work/life Balance- Mike Vandervort, Social Media Community Manager, Publix

Work/life: Zen And The Art Of Focustime-  William Tincup, CEO, Tincup & Co.

Work/life Balance?  Not For Me!-  Jason Seiden, Author, Speaker, and Founder of Ajax Social Media

I read a post that made me think.  It is ‘Every Person Tells A Story‘ by Mike VanDervort over at The Human Race Horses blog.  He’s a writer I greatly admire.  You’ll have to read it for the entire background, but basically he tells part of his own story.  It’s the story of his grandfather and how he took a job shoveling coal while in the 6th grade.  It’s a really inspiring post.  I hope today you’ll indulge me in sharing a story of someone who is my hero and inspiration.

Trish & Dad in Clearwater, FL

I’ve often had people ask me what makes me work the way I do, why I get so focused or passionate about things in the workplace, or why I keep taking on more projects inside and outside work when I’m already busy.  I do these things because it’s the way I was raised.  My father, Don Steed, taught me everything I needed to know to be “successful” in my career.  And, by successful, I mean satisfied with my progress, my work product, and my work ethic.  I do not mean it’s about making more and more money, although that IS a nice outcome.

My dad had a hard life.  He was born in a tiny town, Bradford, Arkansas in 1940.  He had two loving parents and a little brother.  My grandfather was a bookkeeper and the family lived several places before landing in Detroit, Michigan.  Back then, tuberculosis was a very common disease in our population and my grandfather contracted it.  He spent seven years in and out of a sanitarium where patients were quarantined.  Mostly, he was there.

My dad was only seven years old when that happened, so he lost most of his formative years with his father becasue he could not even touch him.  He could only look through a window to see his dad.  So, as a child, my dad began working.  He was a paper boy, he helped the milkman deliver milk to the doors of each house, and he picked up other odd jobs.  His dad eventually passed away when he was fifteen.  This had a huge impact on his life.  He eventually dropped out of high school and went back to Arkansas to live with his grandparents.

Dad with Trish

By age seventeen he had already decided to join the Army.  He served our country for six years and traveled the world.  After he was released with an Honorable Discharge, he eventually moved to St. Louis, MO and started working.  He married, and several years later, they had me.  Five years later, my sister joined the family.  Although he was a family man, working full-time, once he got married, he quickly achieved his GED and began taking courses at the junior college.  Eventually, he transferred to Washington University.  I’ll brag a little because that is a really challenging school to be accepted by.  He worked hard his whole life and eventually retired from Big River Zinc (formerly AMAX Zinc) where he had been a manager over several large departments.  He was there over thirty years.

During my life, my dad was always involved in the PTA at school and served as President.  He eventually ran for our district’s school board and served on that from 1980- 1989.  One of the proudest moments in my life was when my dad, the President of the school board, handed me my high school diploma.  It was amazing!  Sure, with all he had going on, there were many nights he wasn’t home with his kids.  He had meetings and school events to attend.  But what he taught me is that it is important to continue to challenge yourself once you’re an adult.

He also taught me:

• Love your kids fiercely
• Don’t be complacent- fight for what you believe is right
• Always give 110%, whether that is when you’re with your kids, at work, or in the way you spend your free time
• Give back to your community
• Teach others what you know
• If you need something done, always ask the busiest person because you know those are the go-getters who will help you get it done

Which brings me back to me.  I take those lessons seriously, and that is why I get all tied up in many activities.  At times that means stress and I’m ok with that.  Mostly, it brings love, community, and help back to me.  I do believe in karma.

Take a minute today and share who inspires you and why in the comments.  I’d love to hear about it.

As I continue to have strong interest from readers in the work/life flexibility discussion, I asked a friend of mine, Mike VanDervort to contribute his ideas on the topic.  If anyone knows how to try and make it all work, he does.  Mike is a busy HR leader, father, husband, public speaker, blogger/writer, and more.  Let’s see what work/life flexibility means to him….

Life is all about Balance

A couple of weeks ago, Trish McFarlane asked if I would like to participate in her Leader’s series on Work/Life. Since this is a topic near and dear to my heart, and my personal sanity, I quickly agreed to do something.

It is a good thing that I had a publisher with flexible deadlines, because I got very busy and couldn’t write anything for her. Then I went on vacation for a week. Then I came back and was overwhelmed with catching up. Tomorrow, I leave for another week of vacation wrapped around the Christmas holiday.

I’ll come back to this thought of balance a little later in the post. I want to look at a couple of other things first.

Thought Leaders speak on Work/Life Balance

Here is what Trish had to say recently about the emerging tends from her Work/Life series.

When I started this Leader’s series, I was not sure if there would be agreement or disagreement. Here is what I am seeing emerge:

1. As much as we may want to ignore it, or pretend it doesn’t matter, flexibility in one form or another is on the mind of many employees and leaders.
2. It is not necessarily a generational difference but seems to be based more on the phase of life someone is in.
3. Regardless of what we call it; integration, unity, juggle, balance, etc., it all comes down to the fact that different people need varying amounts of flexibility in their life depending on their family and other commitments.

Keep these themes in mind: Work, Life, Flexibility, Juggle, Balance.

Here is what another thought leader had to say about Work/Life balance back in June 2009.

” There’s no such thing as work-life balance, there are work-life choices, and you make them, and they have consequences.” — Jack Welch, speaking at the 2009 SHRM National Conference

We need to add some new words to our theme list: Work, Life, Flexibility, Juggle, Balance, Choice, Consequences

Stanley Bing is the author of the book “How to Relax Without Getting the Axe. Here is a bit of his take on Work/Life balance.

” The secret is learning and adapting the tricks of powerful, successful people” , says Bing, whose book is subtitled “A Survival Guide to the New Workplace”. “In essence, the tricks are timeless ways for anyone to gain control over their job, their time and their life, he says. “The lack of control is what makes people unhappy, and supreme control is what signifies powerful, successful people,” he said. “In between is the regular day that we all have.”

We need to add some new words to our theme list: Work, Life, Flexibility, Juggle, Balance, Choice, Consequences, Control

The Reality of Work/Life Balance

Even though it pains me to say it, Jack Welch is right.

There is no such thing as Work/Life balance.

Excellent employers may strive to provide an atmosphere whereby the demands of a job are lessened by amenities. Frankly, most won’t. Where they do, many employees will choose not to take full advantage in the name of “too busy” or “high performance culture”.

If there is no Work/Life Balance, what is there?

To answer that question, we must look to our theme list:

• Work
• Life
• Flexibility
• Juggle
• Balance
• Choice
• Consequences
• Control

These are the factors in the equation that is Work/Life Balance. Understanding the equation is the answer to finding Work/Life Balance. The equation is like life, a series of events that unfold, offering each individual the opportunity to choose how they will behave.

If you choose to always work, your equation will be out of balance. The consequence will be the complete lack of a personal life.

Some people choose to live that way. Others choose to opt out of work altogether.

There is no perfect solution or answer to this equation! Each individual must find the answer that works for them. It is up to you to find your own answer.

Finding that balance

Even when work is overwhelming and demanding, including heavy travel, you can find short respites- if you choose to do so.

I recently had to make a trip from Tampa to Washington D.C. for a conference, and then fly from DC to Miami, keeping me away from home for a week, Wednesday to Wednesday, including working on the weekend in Miami.

I scheduled the trip so that I was able to get a block of time in DC that ran from 10 AM to 3 PM in which I was free. I used this time to take an extended walk around the sites and monuments that are offered on a beautiful autumn day in Washington D.C.  After a meeting, I used the open evening hours to meet with social media friends Mark Stelzner and Jessica Lee rather than attend a meaningless cocktail hour where I didn’t know anyone. While in Miami, I stayed near the beach in Fort Lauderdale, giving me the opportunity to rise early and take some beautiful beach walks along the Atlantic Ocean.

Total free time out of a 7 day business trip – 10 hours.

Reward – priceless!

Admittedly, I could have been working, catching up on things that got put off at the office due to the travel, but I was so far behind from an intensive 60 day schedule that spending that time working would have yielded very little long term value. The respite – the personal time to rejuvenate was far more important at that time.

You have to stay sane at work in order to remain productive. Staying sane at work when it is crazy is an art! It is your responsibility to make the choices that will provide you the proper personal work/life balance.

I will close with some tips on how to do this.

Tips for getting your own life back

1. Never forget that you are your most important personal asset. You need to make sure that you are providing yourself with sustenance on a physical, profession, emotional and spiritual level in order to have a fully rounded life.
2. Make time to relax. Use your vacation.
3. Find opportunities for respite during the chaos!
4. Don’t sublimate. Follow your passion. Don’t let work and obligation derail from some time with those things that nurture your soul and spirit.
5. If you find yourself growing resentful and angry, take the time to reflect on why this is happening. It is impossible to work your way through this if you are imbalanced in your personal and professional life.
6. Analyze your self-established limitations. Are you living up to impossible rules and standards for no good reason? Stop it, now!
7. Are you staying in a bad situation because of obligation? If so, evaluate it carefully. It could be literally killing you.
8. Go get help if you need to. I did, and it paid off.
9. Find something that you want to do just for yourself and go do it

So, what do you think?  Does this approach work for you?  Let Mike and I know in the comments. Thank you to Mike for  participating in the Leader’s Series.

Michael VanDervort is the founder of The Human Race Horse Blog. Michael writes and speaks on topics related to human resources and social media. You can follow him on Twitter by clicking here.

It’s Friday! Does that mean that the HR Ringleader is slacking and not writing something for you?  Not a chance.  I’m just over at The Human Race Horses (blog by Mike VanDervort) guest posting about the topic of community.

So, keep your hat and boots on and jump on over there to read ‘The Benefits of On-line Community‘.  Oh, and be sure to hit the comments whether you agree with me, think I’m totally wrong and crazed, or just want to say hello.  See you there…

Good Morning and welcome to week two of “A Day in the Life of…” your favorite HR blogger.  There was such a tremendous response to our first week with Kris Dunn (The HR Capitalist and founder of Fistful of Talent) that I was very excited anticipating who to highlight in week two.  Well ladies and gentlemen, I know you won’t be disappointed.  Fresh off his recent week at The Disney Institute and HR Florida, I give you…..Mike VanDervort!

Mike is an amazing force in the HR community and he demonstrates his love and passion for human resources in every activity he participates in.  We’ll get into the details of Mike’s work in the interview, but he is best known to us for his blog The Human Race Horses.  In his blog, Mike gives kudos to companies who are getting it right and he calls out those companies who can use some improvements.  It’s an outstanding blog to have on your reader if you like to keep current on everything from employee relations and performance management to best practices for business.  In addition to checking out Mike on his blog, you can also find him on Twitter.

So, grab a medium coffee (heavy on the cream) and jump in!

So Mike, tell me about how you start your day.  What is a “must do” for you to get your day started right?  I drive an hour each way every day, so I always hit Dunkin’ Donuts for medium coffee, heavy on the cream.   Usually this is after I have my morning tweeting, and maybe writing a blog post.  I write in the early morning quite a bit!

Where do you work?  Is there something special you’d like us to know about your employer that we might not be aware of?  I have two gigs.  I work for Publix Super Markets doing think tank projects on human resources and industry trends, utilizing social media and web 2.0 tools to track trends, monitor our brand, and collect real time information.  I also have Human Race Horses LLC, which is an HR/social media firm for my writing and speaking gigs that I am working on building into something bigger. 

Many people agree that your workspace is very important in influencing how productive each employee is.  Tell us about your workspace- is it an office, open environment, etc.?  Both offices are open cubes with windows overlooking water.  I am pretty lucky with that.  Both spaces are cluttered with magazines, CDs, newsletters, and files of information for my writing and research.

We know you’ve worked for several fortune 500 companies in your career.  What are some of the takeaways you’ve learned in your experience that would benefit other HR professionals?

Three things:

• A culture that enriches the work/professional lives of your workers is the primary key to greatness.
• Being a team player is important, but should never get in the way of calling BS on any paradigm that deserves to be challenged.
• Nothing is more important than “Doing the right thing”

Things can sometimes get stressful in the HR world.  How do you deal with stress when you’re at work?  Any special tricks and tips?  When I realize that my head is going to explode, I get out of there.  Go for a walk, a drive, go for a soft drink, or go home and work for the rest of the day.  The grindstone is only there to wear you down.

How do you feel about having fun during the work day?  Is there anything that you or your colleagues do to break up the day?  If you can’t have fun at work with your colleagues sometimes, you are in the wrong place.  I definitely believe in work hard, play hard.    How you play varies quite a bit depending upon the cast of people.

You’ve had a long day at work.  What is the best dinner you could come home to?  My wife Kyle rocks a killer Chicken Pad Thai that I really love.

Let’s talk movies and books.  What movie and book would you recommend to us, and why?  The most recent business I just finished is Groundswell from Forrester Research.   It is about social media.  Go figure, huh?  For pure relaxation, I read a lot of science fiction and thrillers.

Most recent movies are District 9 which I found very thought provoking, and Inglorious Basterds, which is next up.

What do you and your family like to do to relax when you’re not working or writing your blog?  We will go to the beach.  We enjoy a park called Honeymoon Island in Dunedin, Florida.  I went bowling and shot pool with my wife this weekend. 

Bonus Question:  What is the best piece of HR or business advice you’ve received?  The best came from my employee relations supervisor at Texas Instruments, Bill Rigsby.  It was:  “When you are feeling down at work, or having a bad day, it is always important to remember that if it wasn’t for all those people causing those problems, none of us in HR would have a job.”

I also like a quote from the founder of my present company: “This company will be a little better place to work today, or not – because of you!”

As we head into the next couple months leading up to the HRevolution, I will continue posting each week (or so) highlighting different, well-known HR bloggers.  If you would like to be highlighted, or if you would like to recommend someone you’d like to learn more about, leave a comment, DM me on http://twitter.com/trishmcfarlane, or email me at trisham89@hotmail.com.