Regardless of whether I am at work or at home, there are people who need advice and guidance on how to best respond to certain situations.  Quite frequently, it involves the individual being completely overwhelmed with the demands that others put on them and that they put on themselves.  Even I have fallen prey to these feelings in the past.  There is one exercise I have found to be helpful in this situation.  I call it the One Small Thing.

Here’s how it works:

• Make a list that includes each area of your life where you feel overwhelmed. For example, work, spouse, children, personal.
• Now, each day do one small thing that can ultimately lead to change in that area of your life.
  • For example, if the problem is your job and you think you can repair the relationship, one small thing may be scheduling a call with your boss and communicating more. If you feel like you need to move on and repairing the situation is not an option, use each day to make one call to someone in your network who can help you find a new position.
  • If the issue is at home with your children, the one small thing might be asking them to spend time taking a walk or talking with you, going on a bike ride, finding something around the house to work on together.
  • If the issue is personal and you’re not building in any time for your personal interests, the one small thing may be to commit to scheduling at least fifteen minutes a day to do something selfish, just for your enjoyment.
• Each day, keep track of what you’re doing in each category.

If you follow the ‘one small thing’ exercise, I guarantee that after a couple weeks, you’ll find that you’re much father ahead in creating situations where you can be successful and fulfilled.  By approaching a problem in incremental steps, you will find that you are no longer overwhelmed.  You will be taking control over the things you CAN control and that is the right approach.

Know of other ways people in this situation can overcome the obstacles?  Share with me in the comments…

While I haven’t heard much about work/life balance in the last year, it seems that lately it’s resurfacing.  Often, I get asked by new readers to share my thoughts on the topic.  With that in mind, I decided to take all the posts from the Work/life Leader Series and share them here.  As you’ll see, regardless if you’re male or female, the consensus is that there is no such thing as “balance” when it comes to juggling home responsibilities with work.  Enjoy!

Work/life Leader Series

Work/life Integration- Eric Winegardner, VP of Client Adoption at Monster Worldwide

Work/life Unity-  Trish McFarlane

Work, Life and Life/work-  Bill Boorman, Founder of TRUevents, Recruiter, Trainer

Work/life Blend-  Leanne Chase, founder of Career Life Connection

Work/life: 10 Tips to Implement Flexibility Programs-  Beth Carvin, CEO & President, Nobscot Corporation

There’s No Such Thing As Work/life Balance- Mike Vandervort, Social Media Community Manager, Publix

Work/life: Zen And The Art Of Focustime-  William Tincup, CEO, Tincup & Co.

Work/life Balance?  Not For Me!-  Jason Seiden, Author, Speaker, and Founder of Ajax Social Media

I was watching the Shawshank Redemption this morning.  If you haven’t seen it, it’s well worth your time.  It’s one of those stories that has so many poignant lessons about relationships, trust, fear, motivation, and well, life in general.  Even though I’ve seen the movie numerous times, one part really hit me this morning.  There is an older gentleman, Brooks, who has spent his whole life in the prison.  When it comes time for him to be paroled, he breaks down and wants to commit a crime in prison so that they’ll be forced to keep him.  His friends prevent him from committing the crime and Brooks is paroled.  Brooks tries to fit in out in the real world, but having been in prison so long, he just cannot adjust.  He eventually commits suicide.

Institutionalized in the Workplace

The movie made me think about the workplace and employees who have worked their whole career at one organization.  As I was growing up, my dad taught me that it was an honorable thing to choose a career and then stay with that employer for the entire time.  Think about it, many people born in the 1930′s- 1950′s have been able to accomplish this.

There are certainly employees who fit this description and who stay engaged and are the best representatives of  the organizational culture.  But, most workplaces have those employees who are just there and going through the motions.  They do this year after year.  They continue to come to work and just do the minimum to get by.  They might as well be carving a hash mark into the desk to represent each passing day.

So, what can a manager do with these employees to turn being “institutionalized” into a positive?

Coaching Strategies for Managers

• Be Direct- Don’t ignore the situation.  Even if your organization has a “contribute and stay” mentality, a lesser engaged long-term employee can cause real morale issues in your department.  Often, these employees have been there many more years than you have as the manager.  The only approach is to be direct.  Have that tough discussion and find out why they stay, what would make them more challenged at work, what makes them feel valued, etc.  Then, act on what you learn.
• Find their strengths-  When you get to know your staff on a more personal level, you may learn that they use skills outside of work that will benefit the organization.  For example, if you have someone who is a deacon at church or who is very involved in planning and organizing at functions for their children’s school, capitalize on those skills and use them in that capacity on the job.  When you recognize someone’s skills and praise them for is, they will be more engaged at work when they get to use the skills.
• Loan them out- With the economy the state it’s in, we’re all working to do more with less.  This includes staff.  But, if you can find opportunities to give up a long-term staff even for a couple days a month, you can improve their engagement.  Loan them to another department to help expose them to another type of work.  This will also spread the good will and demonstrate your willingness as a leader to look out for the organization as a whole.   Each time the employee returns, have them tell about the experience at the next staff meeting.  Other people on your staff will see the enthusiasm and may learn something as well.
• Job Shadow-  I recommend using this strategically.  For example, if you have an employee who could use a specific type of coaching, pair them up with someone from another department who does really well in that area.  This will be a non-threatening way to coach the employee.  I also use this technique when I need to assess how a particular employee is doing in their role.
• Capture their knowledge-  One of the things that managers struggle with is losing the long-term employee’s knowledge when they retire or resign.  A way to address this is to find ways to capture that knowledge before they leave.  Start a private collaborative site online and teach your staff how to use it. Ask them to write about everything from processes to ideas on how to handle issues.  Not everyone is a writer, so provide training on how to write and edit.  Make sure they feel comfortable sharing their knowledge, then recognize and praise them when they do.

By focusing on ways to improve engagement of long-term employees, you may actually turn them into your greatest asset. What techniques have you used as a manager in order to coach your staff?  Share them in the comments.

Please be sure to leave Felix a comment at the end and tell him what you think of his concept of peopling.  Thanks friends.

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Felix Wetzel

I believe, and have believed for many years now, that HR and Marketing will move closer and closer, eventually overlap and consequently merge. There’s no question about it; it’s a logical outcome, triggered by the behavioural changes that have been magnified and accelerated by social media and mobile and my core belief about business and life: it’s all about people.

I base it on a very simple formula:

people = brand

This common denominator is underpinned by the following:

people = employees = customers = competitors = suppliers = citizens

So HR and Marketing are perfect companions, that share similar goals, approach life in a similar manner and most importantly have skills and talents that complement each other. Let’s now leave the abstract behind and get more concrete:

People are the brand

If you share this belief with me than you’ll also agree with the following statement: The strongest brand ambassadors are your employees. Subsequently, fostering the right culture within the company, influencing employees to participate every day voluntarily within it and communicating the culture externally in a personable but still branded manner, choosing new employees that fit and enhance the culture are areas where Marketing and HR, if working hand in hand, can make a massive difference and can enrich the growth of the brand but also the individuals within it. This becomes even more important as every interaction, every engagement, every mention defines the brand and defines the perception of the brand. That needs an exciting vision, a clear framework and at the same time shared experiences.

Internal and external communication are intrinsically linked

However we portray the brand externally has an impact internally. Jobsite’s CEO Keith Potts always reminds us: “When you choose a name for a brand, just pretend you call a client. How does it make you feel?”

When we created our TV commercial, I always had in mind that I wanted our sales people to be proud about the ad and the brand, to talk about it, to walk into meetings with their head held high, without the chance of being ridiculed. Besides this being an important filter, it also highlights how internal and external communication are linked, how internal and external perception influence each other and how we as a business therefore need to ensure that we have consistency across all communication. It’s another area for HR and Marketing to benefit from each other’s skills.

Everything communicates

Mervyn Dinnen wrote a very insightful blog ‘Is your recruitment partner damaging your bottom line?’ In this post Mervyn refers to potential employees being potential consumers and if treated badly at the recruitment process it damages their perception of the brand. I wholeheartedly agree. People are multi-dimensional and every interaction shapes the impact of a brand. That’s why I advocate replacing the terms ‘employee’ and ‘consumer’ with the term ‘citizen’. They all influence and define the ecosphere of the brand. The brand is alive, has a stable core but is adaptable and subsequently far more resistant. So, if this is the case, the brand values need to be experienced also through the recruitment process and need to be aligned with the overall brand communication. The recruitment experience is as important as the customer service experience. Everything communicates.

Employer Brand

Is it an employee or employer brand? Who cares? The whole discussion about it is misguided. An employee/employer/employment brand is a myth. Ultimately there’s one core brand and the employer brand is just one facet of it, other facets are the product brand, the consumer brand, the supplier brand, etc – so, instead of reinventing the brand, HR & Marketing need to work together to communicate and execute the brand internally (employee brand) and externally (employer brand) within the employment market.  Use the skills across the business to build the best solution, that’s the way to create a world class experience.

At Jobsite, our brand essence is: ‘We help you plan your worklife, so your whole life works better’ – this, combined with our brand values, are at the heart of all our interactions be it internally and externally.

I know of several companies where HR & Marketing (and the entire business work hand in hand). I know even more companies where this doesn’t happen. Maybe one day, the merger will happen, and instead of HR and Marketing it’s called Peopling.

Today, I am privileged to have someone I consider a true friend post his thoughts on the topic.  Jason Seiden is not only a kind and generous friend, he is a professional speaker, coach, and author.  Jason’s books, ‘Super Staying Power: What You Need to Be Valuable & Resilient at Work and the award-winning How to Self-Destruct: Making the Least of What’s Left of Your Career are two of the most popular business books on the market. Jason is also a family man who takes that role seriously.  Be sure to check out his site at http://jasonseiden.com.

So, read on to learn how Jason makes it all work.  Then, leave a comment and let us know what you think.

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When Trish asked me to guest post on work/life balance, I didn’t hesitate to say yes.

Though to be clear, I revere work/life balance about as much as an atheist believes in God.

So here’s my answer to, “How do I achieve “work/life balance?”

I don’t. I have spent extensive time the past few years doing things to lay the foundation for what I’m doing now (writing/speaking). At the time, these things caused major scheduling conflicts. I did them anyway.

I have no expectations. Rather than try to force things to happen on my schedule, I put myself in the way of opportunity and adjust quickly when it presents itself. I go. I do. I get caught up in things. Periodically I step back to assess my priorities, my strengths, and my interests: where are the themes? I ask myself. My passions find me, but only when I let go of expectation.

I grab moments when I can. My book Super Staying Power has four chapters on how to create “Magic Moments,” those perfect life moments that turn into lifelong memories. The model is real, I use it all the time. I work a lot, so I often invent ways to include my kids in my life during what would otherwise be “dead time.” I don’t worry about blocks of time, I focus on moments.

Hugs, all the time. Love is not an after-hours thing, it is a whenever-I-am-with-someone-I-love thing.

Work, all the time. Work is not an 8 to 6 thing; it is a whenever-I-get-inspired thing.

People come first. Every once in awhile, I’ll take an extended lunch with a friend. Usually, I don’t have time for it. But afterward, I’m always glad I did it.

I’m lucky. One thing my wife has been very clear about since the beginning is that breaking up is never on the table—whatever the challenge, we’ll figure out a way. I wouldn’t dare preach to anyone how to keep a marriage strong; on this score, I just got lucky.

Honesty. A client once remarked during a negotiation that I don’t dance like other vendors, I wrestle. So I do. If there’s an issue, let’s deal with it. I get paid a lot of money to help people figure out how to successfully move through office politics, which get created when people chose not to deal with the underlying issues. I’ve gotten good enough at it to know that the most efficient political maneuver is to hit issues head on whenever possible.

I have a long term perspective. Work/life balance is a lifetime thing, not a day-to-day thing.

I say “yes.“ I know the advice about equating “saying ‘no’” with integrity. I think that’s bullshit. Integrity means owning up to mistakes, not pussyfooting through life for fear of making one. The point at which you are in balance is as close to “over-commitment” as it is to “under-commitment.” What, if you err to one side, you’re OK, but err to the other side, and you suddenly have no integrity? Horse feathers. It’s as important to know how to say “yes” to the things you’d like to do as it is to say “no” to the things you know you can’t. If you start feeling that your integrity is on the line when you talk balance, you’re just screwed.

I manage risks rather than eliminate them. Safety is an illusion. This is life: I will get burned and that there will be tears—no question about it. No need to live in fear of the inevitable! I find a lot of success in life comes from simply accepting the risks.

I have goals. I make sure to do something every day to move forward toward my goals. For instance, I tell people about them. (You can’t help me unless you know what I want. Which right now is as many speaking opportunities as I can land, thanks.)

I don’t hide from my emotions. I use my emotions as guides. I don’t always know what they mean, but I don’t ignore them. When they speak, I listen.

I actively enjoy my life. Some days naturally suck, others are naturally great. But other days, my attitude has a big impact on my surroundings. If I notice people around me all being nasty, I assume that I must not be enjoying myself and that they’re responding to the negativity I’m emanating. Rather than get mad at them, I try to find something around me to appreciate, and I focus on it until I change my mood. When you’re having fun, you don’t worry about balance.

I live in a home, not a house. We have no “no touch” room, no nice furniture, and no rules that prioritize things over people. After all, my couch will not be at my funeral.

There it is: a relatively raw “brain dump” spurred by thoughts of that fantastical myth, “work/life balance.”

I can’t imagine there’s anyone else around whose brain goes to the same place mine does when s/he hears the question, “How do you achieve work/life balance,” and that’s probably a good thing. So take from my musings what you can, laugh at the parts where I’m ridiculous, and find that path that works for you…

Me? I’m off. I’ve got clients to call and a kid downstairs who doesn’t even know she’s got a tickle torture on the way…