Life ebbs and flows.  It brings all the sweetest moments and peppers in some of the most trying challenges.  Through it all, we somehow each find our way.  Over the years, I’ve looked to my mentors to guide me through with advice on how they handle specific situations.  With that in mind, back in 2009 I started a “Work/life Leader Series” of posts that would give various leaders a place to share their ideas and experiences on the age-old issue of work/life balance.

While I haven’t heard much about work/life balance in the last year, it seems that lately it’s resurfacing.  Often, I get asked by new readers to share my thoughts on the topic.  With that in mind, I decided to take all the posts from the Work/life Leader Series and share them here.  As you’ll see, regardless if you’re male or female, the consensus is that there is no such thing as “balance” when it comes to juggling home responsibilities with work.  Enjoy!

Work/life Leader Series

Work/life Integration- Eric Winegardner, VP of Client Adoption at Monster Worldwide

Work/life Unity-  Trish McFarlane

Work, Life and Life/work-  Bill Boorman, Founder of TRUevents, Recruiter, Trainer

Work/life Blend-  Leanne Chase, founder of Career Life Connection

Work/life: 10 Tips to Implement Flexibility Programs-  Beth Carvin, CEO & President, Nobscot Corporation

There’s No Such Thing As Work/life Balance- Mike Vandervort, Social Media Community Manager, Publix

Work/life: Zen And The Art Of Focustime-  William Tincup, CEO, Tincup & Co.

Work/life Balance?  Not For Me!-  Jason Seiden, Author, Speaker, and Founder of Ajax Social Media

~ He’s just institutionalized…The man’s been in here fifty years, Heywood, fifty years. This is all he knows. In here, he’s an important man, he’s an educated man. Outside he’s nothin’ – just a used-up con with arthritis in both hands. Probably couldn’t get a library card if he tried…these walls are funny. First you hate ‘em, then you get used to ‘em. Enough time passes, it gets so you depend on ‘em. That’s ‘institutionalized’…They send you here for life and that’s exactly what they take, the part that counts anyway.~ Ellis Boyd “Red” Redding

I was watching the Shawshank Redemption this morning.  If you haven’t seen it, it’s well worth your time.  It’s one of those stories that has so many poignant lessons about relationships, trust, fear, motivation, and well, life in general.  Even though I’ve seen the movie numerous times, one part really hit me this morning.  There is an older gentleman, Brooks, who has spent his whole life in the prison.  When it comes time for him to be paroled, he breaks down and wants to commit a crime in prison so that they’ll be forced to keep him.  His friends prevent him from committing the crime and Brooks is paroled.  Brooks tries to fit in out in the real world, but having been in prison so long, he just cannot adjust.  He eventually commits suicide.

Institutionalized in the Workplace

The movie made me think about the workplace and employees who have worked their whole career at one organization.  As I was growing up, my dad taught me that it was an honorable thing to choose a career and then stay with that employer for the entire time.  Think about it, many people born in the 1930′s- 1950′s have been able to accomplish this.

There are certainly employees who fit this description and who stay engaged and are the best representatives of  the organizational culture.  But, most workplaces have those employees who are just there and going through the motions.  They do this year after year.  They continue to come to work and just do the minimum to get by.  They might as well be carving a hash mark into the desk to represent each passing day.

So, what can a manager do with these employees to turn being “institutionalized” into a positive?

Coaching Strategies for Managers

• Be Direct- Don’t ignore the situation.  Even if your organization has a “contribute and stay” mentality, a lesser engaged long-term employee can cause real morale issues in your department.  Often, these employees have been there many more years than you have as the manager.  The only approach is to be direct.  Have that tough discussion and find out why they stay, what would make them more challenged at work, what makes them feel valued, etc.  Then, act on what you learn.
• Find their strengths-  When you get to know your staff on a more personal level, you may learn that they use skills outside of work that will benefit the organization.  For example, if you have someone who is a deacon at church or who is very involved in planning and organizing at functions for their children’s school, capitalize on those skills and use them in that capacity on the job.  When you recognize someone’s skills and praise them for is, they will be more engaged at work when they get to use the skills.
• Loan them out- With the economy the state it’s in, we’re all working to do more with less.  This includes staff.  But, if you can find opportunities to give up a long-term staff even for a couple days a month, you can improve their engagement.  Loan them to another department to help expose them to another type of work.  This will also spread the good will and demonstrate your willingness as a leader to look out for the organization as a whole.   Each time the employee returns, have them tell about the experience at the next staff meeting.  Other people on your staff will see the enthusiasm and may learn something as well.
• Job Shadow-  I recommend using this strategically.  For example, if you have an employee who could use a specific type of coaching, pair them up with someone from another department who does really well in that area.  This will be a non-threatening way to coach the employee.  I also use this technique when I need to assess how a particular employee is doing in their role.
• Capture their knowledge-  One of the things that managers struggle with is losing the long-term employee’s knowledge when they retire or resign.  A way to address this is to find ways to capture that knowledge before they leave.  Start a private collaborative site online and teach your staff how to use it. Ask them to write about everything from processes to ideas on how to handle issues.  Not everyone is a writer, so provide training on how to write and edit.  Make sure they feel comfortable sharing their knowledge, then recognize and praise them when they do.

By focusing on ways to improve engagement of long-term employees, you may actually turn them into your greatest asset. What techniques have you used as a manager in order to coach your staff?  Share them in the comments.

Since today is a travel day for me, I am offering up a guest post I’m truly excited about!  Felix Wetzel, the Group Marketing Director for Jobsite and author of the ‘People, Brands, & Random Thoughts‘ blog, is a friend and someone who shares compelling and creative business ideas.  For Felix, it’s all about people, brands, sports & politics. His motto is “fortune favors the bold!”

Please be sure to leave Felix a comment at the end and tell him what you think of his concept of peopling.  Thanks friends.

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Felix Wetzel

I believe, and have believed for many years now, that HR and Marketing will move closer and closer, eventually overlap and consequently merge. There’s no question about it; it’s a logical outcome, triggered by the behavioural changes that have been magnified and accelerated by social media and mobile and my core belief about business and life: it’s all about people.

I base it on a very simple formula:

people = brand

This common denominator is underpinned by the following:

people = employees = customers = competitors = suppliers = citizens

So HR and Marketing are perfect companions, that share similar goals, approach life in a similar manner and most importantly have skills and talents that complement each other. Let’s now leave the abstract behind and get more concrete:

People are the brand

If you share this belief with me than you’ll also agree with the following statement: The strongest brand ambassadors are your employees. Subsequently, fostering the right culture within the company, influencing employees to participate every day voluntarily within it and communicating the culture externally in a personable but still branded manner, choosing new employees that fit and enhance the culture are areas where Marketing and HR, if working hand in hand, can make a massive difference and can enrich the growth of the brand but also the individuals within it. This becomes even more important as every interaction, every engagement, every mention defines the brand and defines the perception of the brand. That needs an exciting vision, a clear framework and at the same time shared experiences.

Internal and external communication are intrinsically linked

However we portray the brand externally has an impact internally. Jobsite’s CEO Keith Potts always reminds us: “When you choose a name for a brand, just pretend you call a client. How does it make you feel?”

When we created our TV commercial, I always had in mind that I wanted our sales people to be proud about the ad and the brand, to talk about it, to walk into meetings with their head held high, without the chance of being ridiculed. Besides this being an important filter, it also highlights how internal and external communication are linked, how internal and external perception influence each other and how we as a business therefore need to ensure that we have consistency across all communication. It’s another area for HR and Marketing to benefit from each other’s skills.

Everything communicates

Mervyn Dinnen wrote a very insightful blog ‘Is your recruitment partner damaging your bottom line?’ In this post Mervyn refers to potential employees being potential consumers and if treated badly at the recruitment process it damages their perception of the brand. I wholeheartedly agree. People are multi-dimensional and every interaction shapes the impact of a brand. That’s why I advocate replacing the terms ‘employee’ and ‘consumer’ with the term ‘citizen’. They all influence and define the ecosphere of the brand. The brand is alive, has a stable core but is adaptable and subsequently far more resistant. So, if this is the case, the brand values need to be experienced also through the recruitment process and need to be aligned with the overall brand communication. The recruitment experience is as important as the customer service experience. Everything communicates.

Employer Brand

Is it an employee or employer brand? Who cares? The whole discussion about it is misguided. An employee/employer/employment brand is a myth. Ultimately there’s one core brand and the employer brand is just one facet of it, other facets are the product brand, the consumer brand, the supplier brand, etc – so, instead of reinventing the brand, HR & Marketing need to work together to communicate and execute the brand internally (employee brand) and externally (employer brand) within the employment market.  Use the skills across the business to build the best solution, that’s the way to create a world class experience.

At Jobsite, our brand essence is: ‘We help you plan your worklife, so your whole life works better’ – this, combined with our brand values, are at the heart of all our interactions be it internally and externally.

I know of several companies where HR & Marketing (and the entire business work hand in hand). I know even more companies where this doesn’t happen. Maybe one day, the merger will happen, and instead of HR and Marketing it’s called Peopling.

When I started the work/ life leader’s series last fall, I could never have predicted the level of insight that leaders would share with us.  This project continues to be something that you are asking for.  So, I continue to reach out to various leaders in human resources and recruiting to learn as much as possible.

Today, I am privileged to have someone I consider a true friend post his thoughts on the topic.  Jason Seiden is not only a kind and generous friend, he is a professional speaker, coach, and author.  Jason’s books, ‘Super Staying Power: What You Need to Be Valuable & Resilient at Work and the award-winning How to Self-Destruct: Making the Least of What’s Left of Your Career are two of the most popular business books on the market. Jason is also a family man who takes that role seriously.  Be sure to check out his site at http://jasonseiden.com.

So, read on to learn how Jason makes it all work.  Then, leave a comment and let us know what you think.

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When Trish asked me to guest post on work/life balance, I didn’t hesitate to say yes.

Though to be clear, I revere work/life balance about as much as an atheist believes in God.

So here’s my answer to, “How do I achieve “work/life balance?”

I don’t. I have spent extensive time the past few years doing things to lay the foundation for what I’m doing now (writing/speaking). At the time, these things caused major scheduling conflicts. I did them anyway.

I have no expectations. Rather than try to force things to happen on my schedule, I put myself in the way of opportunity and adjust quickly when it presents itself. I go. I do. I get caught up in things. Periodically I step back to assess my priorities, my strengths, and my interests: where are the themes? I ask myself. My passions find me, but only when I let go of expectation.

I grab moments when I can. My book Super Staying Power has four chapters on how to create “Magic Moments,” those perfect life moments that turn into lifelong memories. The model is real, I use it all the time. I work a lot, so I often invent ways to include my kids in my life during what would otherwise be “dead time.” I don’t worry about blocks of time, I focus on moments.

Hugs, all the time. Love is not an after-hours thing, it is a whenever-I-am-with-someone-I-love thing.

Work, all the time. Work is not an 8 to 6 thing; it is a whenever-I-get-inspired thing.

People come first. Every once in awhile, I’ll take an extended lunch with a friend. Usually, I don’t have time for it. But afterward, I’m always glad I did it.

I’m lucky. One thing my wife has been very clear about since the beginning is that breaking up is never on the table—whatever the challenge, we’ll figure out a way. I wouldn’t dare preach to anyone how to keep a marriage strong; on this score, I just got lucky.

Honesty. A client once remarked during a negotiation that I don’t dance like other vendors, I wrestle. So I do. If there’s an issue, let’s deal with it. I get paid a lot of money to help people figure out how to successfully move through office politics, which get created when people chose not to deal with the underlying issues. I’ve gotten good enough at it to know that the most efficient political maneuver is to hit issues head on whenever possible.

I have a long term perspective. Work/life balance is a lifetime thing, not a day-to-day thing.

I say “yes.“ I know the advice about equating “saying ‘no’” with integrity. I think that’s bullshit. Integrity means owning up to mistakes, not pussyfooting through life for fear of making one. The point at which you are in balance is as close to “over-commitment” as it is to “under-commitment.” What, if you err to one side, you’re OK, but err to the other side, and you suddenly have no integrity? Horse feathers. It’s as important to know how to say “yes” to the things you’d like to do as it is to say “no” to the things you know you can’t. If you start feeling that your integrity is on the line when you talk balance, you’re just screwed.

I manage risks rather than eliminate them. Safety is an illusion. This is life: I will get burned and that there will be tears—no question about it. No need to live in fear of the inevitable! I find a lot of success in life comes from simply accepting the risks.

I have goals. I make sure to do something every day to move forward toward my goals. For instance, I tell people about them. (You can’t help me unless you know what I want. Which right now is as many speaking opportunities as I can land, thanks.)

I don’t hide from my emotions. I use my emotions as guides. I don’t always know what they mean, but I don’t ignore them. When they speak, I listen.

I actively enjoy my life. Some days naturally suck, others are naturally great. But other days, my attitude has a big impact on my surroundings. If I notice people around me all being nasty, I assume that I must not be enjoying myself and that they’re responding to the negativity I’m emanating. Rather than get mad at them, I try to find something around me to appreciate, and I focus on it until I change my mood. When you’re having fun, you don’t worry about balance.

I live in a home, not a house. We have no “no touch” room, no nice furniture, and no rules that prioritize things over people. After all, my couch will not be at my funeral.

There it is: a relatively raw “brain dump” spurred by thoughts of that fantastical myth, “work/life balance.”

I can’t imagine there’s anyone else around whose brain goes to the same place mine does when s/he hears the question, “How do you achieve work/life balance,” and that’s probably a good thing. So take from my musings what you can, laugh at the parts where I’m ridiculous, and find that path that works for you…

Me? I’m off. I’ve got clients to call and a kid downstairs who doesn’t even know she’s got a tickle torture on the way…

I am excited to share the first post in 2010 that is part of my Work/ Life Leaders series!  This series has given us insight from many of the well-known HR leaders and HR bloggers and I will link to their contributions at the end of this post.  Today I am honored to share a contribution by William Tincup of Starr Tincup Marketing.

William Tincup

William is a founding Principal of Starr Tincup and if you haven’t checked them out, you must.  Their site demonstrates their unique approach to the market.  They are hard core practitioners who are passionate about human capital and providing the best to their clients.  William is someone I have come to admire because of his unsurpassed knowledge, his straight-forward approach, his humor, and with him, there’s no BS.  EVER.    As you’ll see in his post, he’s also someone who is a very caring family man who also is concerned about his community.

Be sure to let him know what you think in the comments after the  post. With that, here’s William!

Zen and the Art of Focustime

The concept of work/life balance has eluded me for most of my life. I didn’t believe that leaders and wealth creators get the benefit of living out this utopian ideal.  Plus, as a self-diagnosed workaholic, I’ve always viewed folks that champion work/life balance as disgruntled employees hell-bent on changing my work-until-your-fingers-bleed office culture.

That said, I have changed my tune over the past four years and tempered the more driven side of my personality with something that resembles balance. I have managed to embrace this with a concept that I call Focustime.  Here’s how I came to the concept of Focustime:

• Multitasking is a myth: I used to be a big believer in multitasking, but not anymore. If you are working on something truly valuable and important, then that activity requires focus. The very definition of multitasking conflicts with focus.  Yeah, I can review a Facebook feed at the same time that I’m having a conversation – but it depends on the how deep of a conversation. Some sales guy on the phone is no big deal, but my wife requires more attention. After I figured out the need to focus, I was able to toss away the concept of multitasking valuable things, such as initiatives, conversations, interactions, work outputs, etc.

• Being genuine is essential: I had to part ways with a business partner a few years ago – turns out he was a complete douchebag.  Still, it was one of the most painful events in my adult life.  Truth is, I knew of his dark heart and cynical ways for years and had allowed it, but that reckoning and his subsequent departure jettison from our small firm forced me to realize that authenticity would be critical to my success.

I’ve always been skilled at calling bullshit on other folks, but now I had to call bullshit on myself. It was a painful process to be sure, but that failure was directly tied to my ability to be genuine at all costs. To thyself be true. I had to rid myself of poor behaviors and to learn to become completely genuine in all situations.

• You must allow for “me” time: Two years ago, I was honored at the Fort Worth Business Press’ 40 Under 40. But at the awards banquet, my life flashed in front of me. Poof! I’m all about work, family and community involvement …  in that order.

The problem was that I had not factored any time for me. I’m an artist – I hadn’t painted in years. I collect coins – I hadn’t reviewed my collection in years. No me in this mix. No time for me. It hurt, but it was true … and it wasn’t a sustainable model if I planned to live a truly fulfilling life.

Something had to change. Work and family were musts, and community involvement at that particular juncture fell into the “nice-to-have” category.  As a result, I resigned from five nonprofit boards in one day.  It only took weeks before I started to paint and work on my coin collection again.  At a point in my future, I’ll find a way to work with arts nonprofits again – just not in the foreseeable future.  I’ve purposely redirected that investment of time back into me.  Turns out – it’s all about me.

• Discovering my purpose: I know this sounds trite or cliché, but it’s true. When my first son (Joseph Henry) was born, I quietly questioned my purpose on this planet.  No one knew that I was questioning everything.  My skills, my abilities, my future, my relationships – everything was being analyzed and over analyzed.  Turns out, I had no real purpose to my life. I had been so focused on “what’s next” for so long – I had never really created a purpose beyond that.

My entire career had been built around getting to the next place but no real thought was given to why.  Why did I work so hard? After much reflection, I decided that I wanted to become a nice guy, a guy that folks wanted to be around, a guy that folks wanted to call.  That was a big transformation for me – I was accustomed to being the wild guy, the blunt object that was confrontational or inflammatory. It was a cartoon of who I really was privately, but not one that allowed me room to brand myself as a nice guy.

And as most nice people know, you can’t fake this. You either care about others or you don’t. I had always been selfless, but I had just kept that part of me private.  To become this nice guy, I identified a set of values that I would emulate: faith, love, hope and trust. Those of you that know me, you’ve heard me weave those into some discussion. I try my best to live those values every day of my life.  The keyword here is “try.”

• Becoming comfortable: In the last 18 months, I have changed my role within my firm to lead our sales and marketing efforts.  I manage our brand, I talk with prospects everyday and I close deals.  When I transitioned into this role, I was completely terrified – mostly because I was about to manage all the “new” revenue of a firm that I care deeply about and I had neither real skills nor experience to do so.

I tripped and fumbled mightily through the first two quarters of my new found responsibilities with some wins, some losses and lots of learning about me. And then one day I realized that ambition isn’t an external thing. For me, ambition is internal pride and deep desire to become GREAT at sales.  For me to become great, I had to slow down and stop thinking about what’s next and I had to develop better listening skills.

I’ve always been smart, but I’ve never really listened to people in conversation.  I was too skilled to be in the moment – I wanted to be 10 steps ahead of everyone I talked with, so I was thinking of my answers to the next four questions.  Boring and lame.

After I slowed down, I actually learned that I had it all wrong.  Being in the moment was the best place in the world, and I’ve never been more comfortable in a role.  I love what I do for a living and I’m good at it.  The skin that I’ve grown into is one filled with peace.  And peace is the lynchpin of the concept of Focustime.

These five points are what Focustime is all about. When you are with someone, be with them only.  Focus on them.  Create tunnel vision around that particular moment of human engagement, shut off all things that confuse or trick you into flighty behaviors of not focusing on conversations with people.

Above all, invest in yourself AND invest in every conversation.  If you can’t invest in focusing, don’t hold the conversation.  For instance, when you are talking with your spouse, don’t multitask – focus on him or her wholly not partially.  That’s it.  Learn to be entirely in the moment.

That’s Focustime. It hasn’t been a destination for me, but the culmination of a series of life events that is constantly evolving. No matter how hardcore a workholic you are, trust me, you can be your own savior. This process can help you exponentially improve your work/life balance.

Contact and Resources

So, I know you want to get to know William more after reading this.  You do! Connect with him on Twitter, friend him on FaceBook, hook up on LinkedIn, hire him at Starr Tincup.  I guess you could call him too, but I won’t share his cell phone with you…..yet.

Other posts in the Work/ Life Leader’s Series:

• Eric Winegardner from Monster.com
• My contribution
• Bill Boorman of  Bill Boorman Consultancy and TRULondon
• Leanne Chase, founder of Career Life Connection
• Michael VanDervort from Human Race Horses
• Beth Carvin, CEO of Nobscot Corporation