I had an interesting conversation a couple weeks ago when I called in to the HR Happy Hour radio show.  The guest was Matthew Stillman, consultant and author of the Stillman Says blog.  His blog is the way he records his account of an experiment he started in April 2009 in Union Square in New York City.  He showed up with two chairs, one table and a sign that read”Creative Approaches to What You Have Been Thinking About” and a smaller one that read “Pay What You Like or Take What You Need”.  People wander by and sit down.  They talk with him about every topic imaginable.   The stories on the blog are fascinating and Matt’s creative recommendations and approaches are quite inspiring.

That said, I was a little skeptical.  After all, I am from Missouri, the “Show Me” state.

This particular night, Mr. Stillman was taking questions from callers on a wide array of topics.  He’d already dispensed advice regarding tattoo placement so I felt confident that if I called in with a parenting question, he would be able to use his creative solutions to point me in a new direction.  Fortunately for me, he did not disappoint.  The one thing I found to be almost disarming was his approach to my question about my daughter’s recent behavior.  He directed the focus of the questioning and conversation squarely back on me.

On ME.

At first, not worried about how she felt, what she heard, what she said.  But, on me.  Why I was reacting the way I was.  What did I think about that?  It was one of those “ah ha!” moments. Matt gave me some creative ideas and a couple books to read to help me approach my situation in a new way.  I’ve since purchased one of the books and am trying some new techniques with my daughter.  I can tell you that we’ve already noticed a change in her behavior with regard to being grateful for what she has.  This is no small feat since she is seven years old and quite self-absorbed at that age.

The bigger lesson I learned was that when someone comes to me for advice or to help think through a creative approach to a problem, I am far more likely now to focus the approach on that person.  On their behavior.  On their feelings about the situation.

It’s really interesting to have someone new hold the mirror up to you so that you can really see how to approach things in your home life or work life differently.  I encourage you to give the HR Happy Hour episode a listen.  Please click through to hear Matt Stillman’s approach.  It just may help you hold the mirror up too!

It’s the end of the week and I’m looking  forward to a day of volunteering with Junior Achievement.  I’m also up early to tie up some loose ends on several items.  Here are two you might be interested in:

HRevolution 2011

HRevolution planning has kicked into full gear.  It takes our volunteer committee about four months to plan the event and we’ve been working on negotiating our space and all the sponsors for the event.  We’re making good headway and will begin announcing speakers and sponsors soon.  Stay tuned for that.  In the meantime, if you haven’t checked out the event or purchased your ticket, be sure to register today.  Only 36 tickets remain!  And, when they are gone, we won’t have capacity to add more.  If you’re interested in sponsoring, please let me know.

HR Happy Hour

Last night I had a great time co-hosting the HR Happy Hour radio show with my friend, Paul Hebert.  Paul and I talked motivation, incentives, recognition, and rewards.  Be sure to check out the replay if you missed it.  We had some great calls and you can also follow the Twitter back-channel at the tag #HRHappyHour. Thanks to Steve Boese and Shauna Moerke for asking us to fill in and give them a night off.

I took my car to my dealership this week for a Xylon treatment.  It’s one of those things that is great to have done, but the hassle of having to drop my car off, on a weekday at 9:00 am, and pick up a rental car was something I didn’t look forward to.  The dealership had great service and the rental car was ready for me, but the idea of having to drive a car I’m not familiar with as the forecast called for snow and ice didn’t make me feel very confident.  At any rate, about twenty minutes after arriving, I was on my way in a 2011 Cadillac DTS. Sweet ride…..but felt larger than driving a bus.  This was not exactly my idea of fun.

So, away I go in my caddy and I’m trying to find something on the XM radio.  Only, it’s not activated.  I try to remember some local stations so that I can find something good to listen to on my way to work.  I settle in on a station that has a song I know, but it quickly ends.  Now it’s commercial time.  I sat through twelve minutes of commercials before the next song!

I don’t have time to sit through twelve minutes of commercials.  I felt like I was completely wasting my time.  I sat there cursing the local radio and hating the fact I couldn’t get any news or information of value.  That’s when I realized that there are many people who still don’t purchase their radio experience.  They listen to local radio.

These are some of the same people who argue that they don’t have time to learn social media, to read a blog, to learn a new tool or technology.  But like me that day, they get those same twelve minutes stolen from them all the time.  I hope that I can use this example in the future when I hear the argument of not having time to learn.  I’m thinking I can give examples of other things they can do with their drive time rather than listen to the excessive commercial time on local radio.

Making Good Use of Your Drive Time

• Download podcasts that you can listen to on your iPod or other device.  Shows such as HR Happy Hour, DriveThru HR, and other industry  radio shows can be found on BlogTalk radio.
• Listen to audio books that relate to self improvement or business acumen.
• Use your smartphone to listen to “how to” videos on YouTube.

What are some other ways to spend your time in the car to make better use of it than listening to commercials?  Share your thoughts with me in the comments.

I thought I’d write about motivation and incentives, but then I thought better of it.  After all, that is a topic that is far larger than a blog post.  So, I decided to (hijack) take Steve Boese up on his offer to have me host a HR Happy Hour episode.  I immediately recruited THE man when it comes to all things motivation, recognition, and incentives…..Paul Hebert of i2i Consultancy.

Join Paul and I this Thursday as we kick around the role HR has in motivation in an organization.  We’ll agree, disagree, debate, maybe even start a gang war on the phones.  Who knows.  What I do know is this is the show not to miss.

Click HERE for more details.

Today I’m thinking about relationships.

Personal relationships and work relationships are the “stuff” that fills our day.  They are the sources of our greatest joys and of our greatest sorrow.  They are the times with people who can bring our world crashing down with just one look and the times where a hug or a kiss can be better than any other feeling known to man.  I started thinking about this after listening to last Thursday’s HR Happy Hour radio show.  The episode was about politics and religion in the workplace.  As I listened, it struck me that we try so hard to compartmentalize our lives based on what is appropriate to say and when that we sometimes lose sight of who we are.  We go to work each day for 8, 10, 14 hours a day yet have to comply with societal and cultural norms that shove much of who we are in a little box until we leave work.

You know one reason HR exists?  I think it’s because people just can’t keep all these parts of themselves tucked away all day, every day.  Sometimes their views on religion or politics come out at work.  Sometimes, they tease or joke like they would with a friend, but they do it at work.  Then….POW!  They’ve offended a co-worker.  Now it’s off to HR to tell them to keep their personality in check, keep it under control, don’t say or do “inappropriate” things at work, etc.

I am a realist and I know that as employees, we should not do or say things to violate other employees’ rights.  We should also try not to offend each other because the point of us being at work is to work, not create drama.  But, there needs to be a balance of being able to be who you really are too.  I’ve worked at organizations where you can’t be yourself.  It’s awful.  So, I left.  Now I work at an organization that actually has a heart.  It may be partly because we’re in the business of caring for sick children, but I don’t think that’s the only reason.  We care about each other as human beings.  I feel it every day when I walk through the door at work.  It’s amazing.

I’m not going to ever be the person who preaches to you here or to people at work.  But I will be the person who says a prayer if you’re sick, hurt, or going through something terrible or difficult.  I may not tell you I say them, but I do.  I’m strong in my own religious beliefs because I’ve had many miracles in my life (in 2003 and 2008), but I love learning about other religions and from people who don’t believe.  I won’t be that person at work who argues my political views, but if you want to talk politics with me, I’m open to it.  Why?  Because talking with you about these things helps me grow as a person.

So, religion and politics at work?  It’s a hard question.  Why don’t you just listen to guest host Jason Seiden over at the HR Happy Hour to find out what others had to say about it.  And, be sure to weigh in here in the comments.